I am having a rough day today..The boys are being wild monkeys and not listening. I have no patience's and want to scream. I did....It wasn't nice and the looks on my boys face when I yelled made me want to cry and made me fell like I was the worst mother ever. But sometimes I just don't want Graysen to talk, and I don't want Maddox to scream, and I would like for them to just play in their room so I could have one minute to get dressed alone....Then I think I am all they know and one day they won't want to be with me every moment and I will be sad.... Motherhood is it always this mixture of confusion and love with a dash of guilt?
This morning when we were laying in bed Graysen asked me if I was going to throw him in the garbage and I told him no....I really need to re think my words and watch my mouth....Lately I have been telling Graysen if he doesn't put his toys away that I will throw them in the garbage...Poor boy what stress I have been causing him! I am going to erase that statement from my mind.
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