Graysen went to HIS Graceland!

This weekend we went away for the semi weekend. The we was: Graysen, Maddox, Marissa (I have known this woman for 10 years give or take, and she is 18 years older then me but we have a real friendship. She was there for me as a teenager when I just needed a friend to listen to me and now as a wife and mother when I just need someone to listen to me. She was my church youth group leader at one time, but we have always had a special friendship. She got married later in life, had her first and only child 4 years ago. ) Bella, and myself.

We went and stayed at the Marriot in Santa Clara; Thursday through today. On Friday we drove to Santa Cruz and went to the Day with Thomas the Train at Roaring Camp. We had the BEST time! They had different stations where you could get face painting, Thomas tattoos, bounce house, hay maze, story time, a meet and greet with Sir Topham himself! Graysen thought he was creepy and wouldn't go near him but Maddox ran to him with open arms hugging and kissing! But the crown jewel of the day was a real train ride driven by Thomas! We sat in Annie and Claribel while Thomas drove us on a 30 minute ride through the Santa Cruz forest.

After the ride the kids got to have their picture and got up close to Thomas. Graysen cried not cause he was scared but cause he was so excited. He needed to spend an extra moment with him and told him he loved him and touched the train. I wanted to cry to see my little one so happy. That smile on his face will be burned into my memory.

It was a really fun weekend in general. Stayed in a hotel....Ordered room service.....swam in the pool...saw Thomas...and went to Great America! I am tired! My boys are exhausted! I am glad to be HOME..But it was a great time!!!!!!

It will always be a bittersweet time of year

Wow! It has been two years since my grandma passed away. I will always be able to count the days as I add another year on to my son's age. That hurts. It seems wrong. It's not fair. I try not to think about the fact that two weeks to the day Maddox was born she was gone.
There are times when it feels like she is still alive and I can pick up the phone to call her. There have been a few times when I have dialed that old familiar phone number and still after two years no one has it. There are times when the emptiness and pain of knowing she is gone is as raw and fresh as the day she died. And there is a guilt as I go on with my life where I don't think about her and it is like I never knew her at all. It is hard to think that I have the rest of my life without her. Or that Graysen and Maddox will never know her love for them. Will never hear her voice and passion as she prays for them or the soft shyness of her singing. Will never hear her potty mouth that made you laugh. Or will never play a April Fool's joke on her just to scare her. Or will never argue with her. Those are the same things that I will never get to do too.
It is true now that she is gone there isn't anyone who loves me enough cause she loved me more then anyone. I am grateful that I knew that love. That I was shown that love and I can love others with that same intensity no matter what they do, who they are, where there from.

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport

Not really that is a quote from Henry Youngman.

I had 5 wonderful years without ever having to deal with a mother in law and now I have to deal with her all the time! I thought when we let her back into our lives that it would be baby steps not seeing her every weekend! Well, I lie I don't have to see her every weekend BUT every Sunday that I work Bailey and the boys have breakfast with her and then go to the park. I do want my boys to have a relationship with her cause I loved my grandma and have many happy and cherished memories of her and the relationship we had. BUT my mother in law is not my sweet,loving, kind grandma she is a passive aggressive evil witch who wants to take my ruby slippers and lock me in a tower!

It all really started Thursday when she called to tell me that Bailey asked her out to dinner and that she wasn't feeling good but wanted to take us out to dinner tomorrow "even though I would be there" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?? Even though I would be there...

Then this weekend Bailey's dad made a surprise trip down here and wanted us all to go out to dinner last night. WHICH WAS WEIRD cause Bay's dad and I had a failing out after I go upset with him for only seeing Graysen once and never seeing Maddox 2 Thanksgivings ago, Joe and Lori ( Bay's mom and dad) don't " get along" they are nice but it is this fake when is this over niceness. And Lori and I have a forced relationship. While at the restaurant waiting for Joe I told Maddox he couldn't have anymore chips cause he wouldn't eat his dinner and Lori kept giving them to him. And guess what Maddox only ate 3 bites of his dinner!!! Lori suggested that we order the boys food first both Bay and I told her that it wouldn't be a good idea cause then they would eat and be finished before everyone else and be ready to go. 5 mins after telling her this she calls the waitress over and tells her that we want to order the boys food. I then have to tell the waitress ''No Thank You" and explain to Lori again that I don't want them to eat first. Then after dinner we are standing outside and Lori tells Joe that her, Bailey, and the boys should come up there to see him! I turn around to look at her ok to give her a dirty back off look and she smiles this overly sweet smile and says oh to give Becca a weekend alone. I then tell her that I enjoy spending the weekend with MY family.

Bay thinks I am being overly sensitive to the whole thing maybe I am but I do know that every time I am talking to Bay she interrupts us to ask us what we are talking and then has to tell Bay something and every time that I tell my kids something she does the opposite of of I have told them. It makes me want to scream LISTEN BITCH THIS IS MY FAMILY YOU CAN'T OUT WIFE OR MOTHER THEM!" and then loosen the screws of her walker.

Ok maybe that was too much!?!