It isn't like he has asked me to stop or anything BUT....Sometimes when I feel sad, or the over whelming feeling of missing Bailey overcomes me I text him these sad, semi pathetic, full of sobs texts.
I also NEED to stop calling him and having those same texts but in real conversation. Those we do dance back back and forth together. He cries, I cry. I make every declaration of my heart to him and he tells me he is hurting too. I know that he probably is but it is HARD to believe cause I feel like I am the one who was left and tossed to the side like garbage. I feel like I would never of done this to him. And I don't understand WHAT I DID. This whole separation/divorce thing has really brought up some family issues that I have been burying deep down inside. The feelings of anger and sadness from being left by both my parents. I feel like man I must suck as a person if everyone leaves me....They run away. Maybe it is me....
When husbands and wives separate do they really stop all communication? I mean this is stupid but does that deep down friendship have to end? Do we really choice sides? Is there a my team his team? Are we destined to be enemies? Cause I still want that friendship we had. I still want to call him and talk about the day. I still want to know how his dad is. And if his grandma is ok.
I still want daily contact. I still want him to come home.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Because you have children together, no, it's impossible for communication to end. And for a long time afterward, you will communicate as if you are still together. A lot of factors will play into how the relationship shifts and changes. Some people can get through the most awful part without being consummed by anger and are able to be friends. Others can't, or can only after many years.
It really depends on how you each handle it; in my case, we are in agreement that for our son's sake, we will make every effort to have good communication about him and his needs and keep in mind the fact that we are each good, capable parents. That, however, has nothing to do with our personal relationship - we're nowhere near friendship yet. I don't know if we ever will be.
Also, this is not about what YOU did. His leaving, his inability to provide answers - is all him and whatever he is carrying inside him. I understand the feeling of abandonment, but in the end, this is really about him. Try not to think in terms of what YOU did, but rather, what HE must have going on, how messed up HE must be, but that he would do things this way.
Post a Comment