Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Mama when I am getting homework?

My first born son Graysen Avery has started the long road of education. He is in kindergarten! Monday was his first day. He rised and shined at the butt crack of dawn singing "I start school and you don't" and then pointing at Maddox who in turn would cry. We packed his snack and put on his back pack and walked to school. I teared up as we walked to school hand in hand and my brave five year old looked up at me and asked if I brought my camera. We got to room 4 and wiped away my tears. I tried to say hi to some other parents.

Then this sadness over took me not only was I turning over my first born child but I was standing alone. I wanted to cry, scream, and lay in my bed and watch the day pass me by but instead I watched my son hang up his belongings turn around hug me and walk over to the magic circle. Then I went on my own brave journey the PTA Back to School Coffee. I signed up for a couple of volunteer positions, drank my coffee and looked around. I felt like I was in high school. Parents grouped together talking and laughing about summer. Other moms and dads whispering to each other, and then there was me.

Ok while I know in my heart of hearts that I am NOT THE ONLY single parent at the school at the moment and time I felt that way. I never felt more alone...more afraid...more vulnerable. I wanted to be a pair. I wanted to turn around and see Bailey there. I wanted to hear his smart ass comment about how the PTA president is a man and wants to be called PTA Captain. I wanted to be a double digit not a single.

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