Why can't motherhood start at 10?

This morning I woke up to Maddox 2 inches from my face telling me he had to poop. My response to him was then go sit on the potty. Graysen laying across me whinnying about how hungry he is and how he has "never ever eaten tooooooodayyyyyyyyyy". I get up and slowly make my way to the kitchen passing Maddox on the potty reading a book on rats. While in the middle of making oatmeal I hear Maddox calling me and so nicely informing me that he has poop on IT! IT??!?!?! I run into the bathroom to see Maddox with an entire roll of toilet paper all over the bathroom, and poop all over the toilet, hand, and leg! I tell him not to touch, move, or breath! I run back to the kitchen, stir the oatmeal, back to bathroom and start shower. Back to kitchen to stir the oatmeal (all while stepping over Graysen who has decided that it would be helpful to lay across the hallway with his feet on the wall singing about how hungry he is) Get Maddox in the shower and go back to the kitchen to put the oatmeal in the bowls and grab those cleaning wipe things. As I am knee deep in poop, Graysen tells me that he wants to take a shower too so he gets in bringing 20 toys, a baseball bat, and goggles with him. DEEP BREATHE...Back to poop.. Phone rings..Oh of coarse the caller id isn't picking up the number. And it is the Police Activities League. I inform them that my two year old has poop all over the bathroom and my 4 year old is trying to bring his blanket into the shower to make a tent and if they could call me later. Before they hang up they ask if I would like to donate any money! DEEP BREATHE " Sure if you call me in a hour I will write you a check for 1 million dollars!" Damn I wish Starbucks delivered!