I didn't learn anything I learned EVERYTHING

Yesterday Graysen started his school! We enrolled him in a parent's co-op: Mon, Wed, and Fri for 3 hours int he morning. Fridays I am there with him slaving away in his classroom.
He was so excited when he woke up in the morning singing "I AM GOING TO SCHOOL". As we walked there Maddox ate a banana and Graysen carried his lunch, skipped, and told me everything he would be doing there. I nicely reminded him to hurry so we wouldn't be late.

As we walked to the school his teacher "Teacher Nancy" was ringing a massive old school bell and welcoming all the kids to their first day. We walked up the stairs and put his lunch in his cubbie and went over to the carpet to hear a song and have Teacher Nancy give us some reminders and then Mondays working parents went to their stations and the kids had free time....All other parents were asked to leave. I stood around chit chatting with some other mothers, meeting them and staring at my son who kissed and hugged me went off to start his day of playing and meeting new friends. I picked up Maddox and off we went downstairs..

Maddox started to scream as we reached the stroller crying "WE LEFT GRAYSEN!!! MY GRAYSEN MY GRAYSEN GO GET MY GRAYSEN MAMA GRAYSEN IS UP THERE GRAYSENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"

When it was time to get Graysen Maddox was happy and Graysen was happy to see us. We walked home where Graysen gave me a play by play of his day, friends, snacks, and told me he was so happy!

When Bailey came home Graysen informed him that "He didn't' learn anything. He learned everything!"

All that he can do and he is still human?!?!?!

My husband has this sick obsession with Mark Walberg, I still like to refer to him as Marky Mark and every time I do my great and wonderful husband reminds me that he doesn't like to be called Marky Mark anymore. :)

To me each and every MM movie is the same....Just a normal guy who can do one thing above all men and is a god but he is still just a normal guy! Last night we watched a movie that is one of my husband's favs (he won't admit it but before we started watching he told me what a great movie this one was) While watching MM movies we have a routine I laugh and mock everything about the movie and Bailey goes on in great detail how each and everything MM does IS humanly possible. We laugh, watch, and cuddle....These are some of my favorite times. Being with my husband enjoying something he enjoys. The simplicity of our life. Even laughing and mocking MM is one of my favorite things....

And while I will never tell my husband this I kind of like Mark Walberg too!

It's alive

So I have been away..Well not gone somewhere exotic or fun just gone from this spot. There were big changes over the summer....Some good some not so. Some so happy that I thought I was going to burst apart others so low I thought it all may end.



Bailey and I are great, we had some issues this past summer but we are working through them and things are better then ever... Sadly Bailey's mom suddenly passed away this summer and it was heartbreaking. I am so sad for my husband and children. My poor babies who aren't old enough to understand death (but then who IS?) but are old enough to understand we used to go over there and now we can't....Just thinking about them thinking baout her brings tears to my eyes.

Graysen is a semi reader and Maddox knows his M and everytime he sees it it just confirms his thought that EVERYONE LOVES MADDOX!

Glad to be back! Missed you all!!!

Birds and F words!

Big Exciting News here on Elm Street!

Today this little brown bird that was feeding on the bird feeder outside came flying in the house via the kitchen window! I was wiping away pee stains on the toilet when I heard tweeting and thought man that sounds loud! I came out of the bathroom to see this little bird sitting on the TV looking around.

Now in a not so proud moment I I yelled F**K which then made the boys come running to tell me that was a bad word. I shhhh them and show them the bird..Maddox screams BIRDIEEEEEEEEE and wants it to sit on his finger. I walk slowly towards the screen door hoping to open it. The bird sees me and flies straight towards me slamming into the window before I could open it. I jump back into the hall as the bird flys around the dining room slamming into the screen door. I open the front door and beg the bird to PLEASE FLY TOWARDS THE DOOR. Now the boys are jumping up and down screaming "towards the door Ms Bird." Graysen grabs his angel bear and show the bird how to flap his wings.....I bravely try to make my second attempt to open the screen door. The bird is hyper tweeting and you can tell that she is FREAKED OUT.

Just then another bird just like her comes flying and sits on the railing and is tweeting back at the bird stuck inside. I beg out loud to the outside bird that it doesn't come flying in! Then the most amazing thing happens the inside bird flys close to the screen window sees and hears the outside bird and is directed towards the kitchen window and back to freedom!!! The boys and I jump up and down screaming you made it you made you made it! Then both birds sit on the feeder and eating away.

"No, I am your Father!"

When I met Bailey he was NOT a huge Star Wars fan. Yeah, he had seen the movies and liked all the special effects but that was about how far his love for the movies went. Graysen LOVES Star Wars, he knows the characters, and has books, action figures, and he would watch all the movies in a row if we allowed it! So now Bailey is a fan. He will look up Star Wars facts to share with Graysen. He reads this DK book and has learned characters names and who, what, and where they appear in the movies. It is so cute to see them bond over something that in a normal situation Bailey wouldn't necessarily bond with someone over.

California Dreams

"Growing up in northern California has had a big influence on my love and respect for the outdoors. When I lived in Oakland, we would think nothing of driving to Half Moon Bay and Santa Cruz one day and then driving to the foothills of the Sierras the next day."
-Tom Hanks.

We had a day like this today!
Bailey was home from work and we woke up to the most beautiful, sunny, warm amazing day. At 8 AM the sun was shinning and birds were singing! We left the house at about 1030 AM and weren't home until after 5 PM. We drove down to Palo Alto had a yummy lunch and went to the Junior Museum and Zoo. Played and admired the Rats, Bobcats, and Bats. Maddox's personal favorite the one eyed owl who likes to sit on the floor of her habitat.

After the zoo we went to the park and laid in the glass. We rolled around and dog piled daddy. Graysen and Maddox ran around without shirts. It was like a summer day. We then drove the long way home stopped to show the boys the school were daddy went, were daddy worked when we first got married, daddy's old house, and even where we lived when Graysen was born. Of coarse the boys were asleep but we had fun seeing how the houses had changed and the new performing arts center at Bay's high school. Days like this remind me how wonderful it is to be alive!

Can't I have a dream?

I have a dream that I could come to the computer and sit for 5 minutes and look at anything I want without two little voices talking in my ear...One telling me something I OUGHT to know and the other agreeing.

I have a dream that I could lay in bed one whole day and watch cheesy reality TV.

I have a dream that I could do 20 minute errands IN 20 MINUTES!!!

At times like this I have to remind myself that I once had a dream to have a baby that loved me and I would give up everything that I ever knew to have....And hell I have two babies what a dream it is!

the saying is true you only see people at

Funerals and Weddings.

This past week a great man I knew went home. Going to his funeral was like a flash back into time. Seeing people that I loved. People I grew up around. It was amazing to see everyone! So comforting but sad and scary all at once. Part of me wished that LCF still existed like in memory. Going to church at night....Barney singing (which is the most calming sound). Jean's voice praying for you...Michael's lisp as he talked. Ray playing the guitar. Sitting with my grandma. Everyone meeting up at Taco Bell afterwards. Sometimes that trip to the Denny's in your mind IS fun!

Why can't motherhood start at 10?

This morning I woke up to Maddox 2 inches from my face telling me he had to poop. My response to him was then go sit on the potty. Graysen laying across me whinnying about how hungry he is and how he has "never ever eaten tooooooodayyyyyyyyyy". I get up and slowly make my way to the kitchen passing Maddox on the potty reading a book on rats. While in the middle of making oatmeal I hear Maddox calling me and so nicely informing me that he has poop on IT! IT??!?!?! I run into the bathroom to see Maddox with an entire roll of toilet paper all over the bathroom, and poop all over the toilet, hand, and leg! I tell him not to touch, move, or breath! I run back to the kitchen, stir the oatmeal, back to bathroom and start shower. Back to kitchen to stir the oatmeal (all while stepping over Graysen who has decided that it would be helpful to lay across the hallway with his feet on the wall singing about how hungry he is) Get Maddox in the shower and go back to the kitchen to put the oatmeal in the bowls and grab those cleaning wipe things. As I am knee deep in poop, Graysen tells me that he wants to take a shower too so he gets in bringing 20 toys, a baseball bat, and goggles with him. DEEP BREATHE...Back to poop.. Phone rings..Oh of coarse the caller id isn't picking up the number. And it is the Police Activities League. I inform them that my two year old has poop all over the bathroom and my 4 year old is trying to bring his blanket into the shower to make a tent and if they could call me later. Before they hang up they ask if I would like to donate any money! DEEP BREATHE " Sure if you call me in a hour I will write you a check for 1 million dollars!" Damn I wish Starbucks delivered!

Let the memory live again

Happy Valentines Day Everyone! Today we started our day off with yummy homemade strawberry shakes (made with soy of coarse since Maddox can't have dairy!) The boys watched a Valentines's DVD that we got from the library. Then we made a tent! A good ol' fashion one made from a sheet. :) It made me think about when I was a kid and Corrina and I would take two chairs and a sheet. Drape it over and play inside. We would always try to think of ways to prevent the tent from falling in. And it would end of frustrating us as it would either fall on us or a side would slip off and we would have a half of a tent. The boys loved it. Maddox didn't get that you couldn't stand on top of it and he broke it several times. But he learned that it was so much fun playing inside and pretending we were bears and it was our cave! ROAR!!!!!

As a family we have been talking a lot about the upcoming election. Graysen has really gotten into a mild watered down US History. It has been fun to talk about history with him. It is a personal favorite of mine! He really likes learning about the presidents and he has decided that he is going to be "President Forever" I haven't had the heart to tell him that is a dictator.

Today we went to vote for our state's primary when we got to the polling place Graysen proudly tells everyone and anyone (repeatedly) who will listen that: George Washington was the first president and he is dead. Each time he said dead he said it in a funnier, deeper, gruffer, more monstrous voice. Which made people stop and stare at us. Some laughed and some gave that gasp look which means they are totally appalled. I don't' know why people have such a hard time hearing children talk about death. I was proud-Washington was the first president and he is dead....Now if I can just get Maddox to say George Bush is a Warlord. ;)

Never a dull moment

This morning Maddox cut his thumb after 20 minutes, 3 band aids, and both Bay and myself applying pressure it finally stopped bleeding. During this time Maddox WAS NOT a happy camper! Graysen was trying his best to be a great helper: talking to Maddox, rubbing his back, and running back and forth getting more toilet paper. All seemed fine and well-flash forward to 945 pm tonight when his finger starts gushing out blood, him screaming and shaking. I call Bailey (who is STILL working nights) tell him that I am going to take Maddox to the ER at Sequoia Hospital and that I would call him once I got there. Graysen gets into Big Brother mode; gets his jacket and shoes and then tells Maddox is this super calm voice "We are going to the ER and they are going to make you better! OK?" (Graysen's only experience with the ER is when he had CP) Maddox totally listens to Graysen stops crying and they both look at me. I rinse Maddox's thumb looking at the cut. It's not deep enough for stitches-what would the ER do besides send me a huge bill? I call bay back and tell him we are not going to the ER-Poor guy!

Long story short-We re-band aid it and now the boys are watching a magic school bus movie and munching on popcorn.

Poor Maddy!

Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central L.A. Today was a good day!

Yesterday I had the best day with the boys! We got up at 8 AM to the smell of freshly brewed coffee! I finally pre-programed my maker. It is a dream to wake up t hot yummy coffee. We made breakfast together, ate, and cleaned up. We were whistling while we were working. :) After breakfast we read a gorilla book, talked about how we can save gorillas they are "critically endangered" . We looked up online about how to adopt one and we signed up. We will be getting our information packet in a few weeks. Graysen is really excited and already has asked SEVERAL times when his gorilla pictures was coming!!!! Cut and pasted a gorilla picture and letters. Drew our own gorillas. After all that we talked about how to spell G-O-R-I-L-L-A and how that starts with G and how Graysen starts with G. Graysen practiced writing G's. He was doing such a good job and was having such a good time writing. It is so cool to see how Graysen knows that there are letters and those letters make up words and you can read words. I love seeing the wheels in his mind turning!

That's MY boy!

Today we were at the park meeting some friends (smiles and waves!!!) and Maddox is running around being his normal chipper self stops in mid run laughs to himself then sticks his butt out and screams " I bummy you" to whom you ask? The entire park!!! He then spanks his own butt. Then Graysen laughs and yells "My brother is bumming you!" I look around and see 5 moms look at Maddox and break into laughter...I laugh back and say That's my boy!

You know your next in line for rehab when....

You are banging on the side of your coffee pot begging it to brew faster! Enough said about today and it is only 10:26 AM!

Yeah I am going there.....

Tonight I turned on the TV tonight and I got the last few minutes of some tabloid show and of coarse they were talking about Britney Spears......It is her and some guy walking into some Deli in LA and she is walking behind this guy and following him through out the deli like a lost little girl. At one point there is a mother and a daughter in front of them and for a split second Britney stares at this mother-daughter hugging and talking and just looks and gives this smile but it isn't a happy smile it is a sad smile....For that split second it is heart breaking to me...Is she thinking about her own lost mother daughter embraces cause she was the one responsible for feeding her family? Or was she thinking about her own little babies and how she is in some deli with some guy with 50 lights flashing at her all wanting her to be crazy so they can sell some picture.... Everyday you hear Joe Bob and Sally Sue make comments about how she is throwing her life away and it will end in a tragedy-Fire and Brimstone! It makes me sad...Sad for someone who I don't even know and who I will never know. But we are both woman..both mothers to two little boys... both in our twenties....Makes me want to pray for her as lame as that it.

Welcome to the Jungle....Baby!

This morning I took the boys to this indoor jumpy castle place for the morning jump and there was this woman there with her son......UGH! She was one of those women who do not see any flaws in her child and go about her agenda no matter if the roof is falling in. Her son was torturing all the other children as he hit,bit, pushed down, and ran around kicking. Every few minutes she would call him over to her and offer him Hawaiian Punch. I wanted to scream before she came over to me! Then as I was standing there enjoying my children I saw her out of the corner of my eye. It started off with Your daughter is so cute. I explained that she was a he..Then it was are their twins? No, there are 18 months apart.....Then the question Ohh is he in school? Pointing to Graysen. No he isn't in school. Then the gasp about how she has had her son in a academic preschool for 3 years now and he is going to be starting in a kindergarten prepareness class this spring but she is worried because it is a 5 day a week thing and blah blah blah she wouldn't want him to have to repeat it. I looked over to her son who was pulling on another kid while that kid was screaming....but hell at least he has been in a academic preschool!

Speaking of birthdays

Graysen is having a party later this month...And he is already telling me how the entire day is going to go, who will be here, what he is getting as gifts, and about the cake!

He has picked a Tranformer theme party...He has already asked me about a million times if today is his party (he has only been four since Tuesday). It is so funny to see him so excited.

We were first planning his party at this local kid gymnastic place but he told me that he wanted to have his friends over his house and have a jumpy castle so he can "jump jump jump all day"! So I lost my deposit (which I had on the place since October..I know but the OCD in me got the better of me!) Now I am having about 30 people here are my house. Fun Fun Fun!

Even when I am a grown up!

Today Graysen and I were sitting on the couch before bed and he told me that he wanted to cuddle with me so I grabbed him and we had a cuddle moment. Graysen looked up at me and said "even when he is a grown up he is going to cuddle with me every day-forever". The look in his eye was beautiful his little eyes were sparkling and he had this smile that spread across his face. I told him that I will always cuddle with him no matter if he is an old man with a wife and kids; anytime he needs it I will be there. His answer was: OK good! (With a firm head shake)

Moments like this I wish I could bottle to save for later....It goes by too fast. Four years have already gone by and I can't remember everything...In another four will I remember this conversation?

Happy New Years!

I can't believe that 2007 is over and 2008 has begun. Last night we went to my cousin's house and partied until 7 minutes after midnight and then took the boys home. I had had 8 beers that night and was begging Bay to go to Jack in a box..I felt like Will Ferrall in Old School "You think KFC is still open?" When we got home we watch Waitress and I fell in love with it. It was a very good New Years Eve! And I am happy to state that my children were up until 1230 and slept in until 11! And I woke up without a hangover...Which only can mean one thing drinking should be more of a regular thing for me. Since it is in my genes anywhooo.. LOL

So with a new year here I am going to (just like everyone else on the planet) going to be a new me. I am going to try to have more of a schedule and hopefully with that new schedule I will be more organized. I am craving these things and I hope that I can achieve them. WISH ME LUCK!

I also want to be a better mother...Not that I don't think I am a good mother just I want to be better...to not yell...to not lose my mind at the small things. TO be grateful that I have beautiful happy children who adore me. And not in any order to be the best wife that I know I can be. To give more of myself even when I feel like I am empty. Cause there shouldn't be a reason that I feel empty when I have so much to fill me. To remember that out of all the men in the world that I could be with I choose him and I should happy that we are here on this boat together even if at times it feels like we are sinking....

Best wishes to you in 2008! I hope that it brings you joy and happiness but above all of this I wish you love.....and I will always love youuuuuuuuuuu (reaching a sound only dogs can hear and I can hear them in a distant howling!) Thank you Miss Whitney!