It's my birthday and I cry if I want too!

Yesterday was the day I was born. 10/10...It always seems so special cause it is backwards and forwards the same. My birthday it is always this weird,strange,bittersweet time for me. I always get gloom in eye and heart feels heavy. I try my hardest to not get this way but it overcomes me. People always want to celebrate but I would rather spend it in a hotel room alone laying in bed and reading some novel of despair. That is what I somewhat did I took a burning hot bath, so hot that you think your insides might by cooking, and read Celebrity Detox. My children and husband were sleeping and I crept through the house afterwards looking around and thinking "WOW I'm 27! 27 years ago my mother gave birth to me....All of her hopes and dreams gone.'' I was once told that my mother's craziness really started after I was born. Maybe it is guilt I feel on my birthday-guilt of ending someones life. Hmmm. I should talk to my therapist about that. Maybe he will confirm the thoughts that I am crazy?!?! ;0)